Remember back when PUFF DADDY told everyone to “Vote or Die”? This election, the stakes aren’t quite that high. If you don’t vote, Puff Daddy won’t be coming by to kill you.
But if you do vote, here are some of the FREE THINGS you can get today by doing your civic duty . . .
1. Krispy Kreme will give you a free donut if you show up with your “I Voted” sticker.
2. 7-Eleven is selling cups of coffee for $1.
3. Chuck E. Cheese will give you a free personal pizza if you voted.
4. Most YMCAs will watch your kid for free while you go vote.
5. Lyft is giving 45% off rides to polling places in most big cities around the country. And Uber is giving new users $20 off on rides to and from voting.
6. And finally, two porn stars named Angelina Castro and Maggie Green will give SEXUAL FAVORS to EVERYONE who votes . . . but only if TRUMP loses. They say they’ll tweet out details of how to collect your prize after the election.